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As was just said, the most fundamental barrier to productive conflict resolution is feeling as though your partner is
your adversary rather than your ally. Early life experiences lead many of us to respond to conflicts from an adversarial stance.
Like part one of the previous exercise, we tend to tighten up and approach negotiations defensively and noncooperatively,
perceiving the korean singles as being out for themselves. In addition to early life experiences, intense fears, resentments,
and longings in a particular situation can override goodwill, stimulating self-protective responses instead of cooperation.
As was stated in the beginning, conflicts are often only apparent rather than actual. One cause for this is due to not understanding
what the other korea personals is feeling and wanting. Another cause for misperceiving conflict is confusing a korea bride
goal with the means to achieving it and then losing sight of the original goal. A korea wife may actually have the same goal
but have picked different means of achieving it and then fight over whose method will be used. A significant factor in perceiving
conflict where none exists is when a korean wife does not have a clear understanding of how the other korean bride feels
and what the other person wants. This will be the case when they either are not able to communicate their needs and feelings
clearly and/or are unable to listen well due to emotional reactivity. Korea singles have a very hard time communicating their
feelings, wants and needs clearly. Instead of making simple direct statements of feelings and wants, many korean personals
take either passive or aggressive approaches to expressing themselves. Aggressive approaches include: complaints, blame, attacks
and criticism. Both approaches obscure wants and evoke defensiveness the focus then becomes the process, not the original
problem. When we have a strong emotional reaction to what the other person is saying, we tend to lose our ability to hear
what is being said; we get too caught up in our own reaction. Needless to say, this makes it very difficult to hear and understand
the beautiful korean ladies. Instead of listening we will tend to respond before the first person was finished speaking. This
results in the other person doing likewise, until a lot of talking is going on with very little listening. At the end neither
single korea ladies will have stated their feelings and wants to completion, so neither understands the other’s
position. In addition, neither person will feel heard and understood, which is very upsetting and not conducive to taking
an ally position with each other.
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